Tag Archives: marriage

God is the Truth Maker and we are the truth takers

I love the fact that I have no progiving_receivingblem in believing God and His word.  I mean, what else is there that works so great to make and cause me to have a great life and to live a great life? When everything else around me is either failing or crumbling, I know for a fact that the Great Truth Maker is giving me insight to how I should believe, how I should act, what I should say and what I should expect.  That makes me a truth taker.

I take what He says at face value regardless of the ‘opinion’ mill out there or the nay-sayers who don’t want to believe the Truth Maker!

That’s the awesomeness of knowing God and knowing He has my best interest at heart.  Because of that, whatever He says about me–I’m going to receive as truth and not as His opinion of me.  What He says is so much better for me than anything I know of in life.

I’ve been around those who want to give me their opinion but that and 3.99 will get me my favorite coffee drink at Starbucks; caramel macchiato latte.  I’ve learned to listen to what God has to say and have fared so much better in life because of it.

I want to be a winner and not a loser.  I want to be a victor and not a victim.  I want to be successful and not a failure.  I can be all things through Christ who strengthens me.

So, it’s my choice, and I chose to be a truth taker.  I listen to the Truth Maker.  He’s making a lot of Truth and will always make a lot.

That’s what I think about it.

Timothy – http://www.exaltationchurch.com


Stop the Deception!

love_3_by_mjagiellicz1Just stop! I use to think I really knew what love was all about. I have to confess that what I thought was love, was not really love at all. In fact, it was a form of love that earthlings have come to believe as love ever since the fall of man. Wow, were we deceived. Then we started saying how much we loved this and how much we loved that-when all we were professing was a form of love the Greeks called, “phileo love.” The word was well known, but there was a serious problem with it. It wasn’t good enough.

No? No.

It only had a shelf life of a few years. Some brands lasted only for a few moments. Others, not even a few months. We used that love to express some emotional need (that we felt in our brain) to tell others that we “loved” them. But we used that same word for our dog, our cat, our car, our children, our house, our president, our neighbor, our sofas, our dentist, our church, our spouses and even God. Now how can that be? How can that be authentic love? We’ve been deceived.

Men and women take vows and say “till death do us part,” only to find out that the shelf life on their love had expired way before death ever thought about coming around. Friends say I love you, only to realize that that wasn’t a good brand of love they bought into and eventually say, “sorry, I must part ways with you now.” How about the brand of love found at the end of a date that causes you to fall for that guy and do anything for him just because he said he loved you? Where did you buy that love? At the dollar store?

Phileo love is good, but not good enough. If Sears were selling it, it would be in the better section of the store. You know, they sell stuff like good, better, best. Phileo love is not the love that glues friendships, lovers, spouses, parents and children together. When we use the same kind of love for a spouse and a dog, then something is not right. I know–I hear you clearly shouting at me, “THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE!” No, calm down. There are different “depths” of phileo love but it’s all the same.

Agape is a love, created by God, which causes man to bond in a way that is like super glue. It’s not artificial. It’s not a love substitute. It’s not cheap and ugly. It’s lasting and pure.

Not many people understand or know about agape. Yet. Even in the “best of the best” respected books in Christianity, such as Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline,” not one word is mentioned about the discipline of agape love. It’s difficult to find those who really understand it.

I don’t use the word love much anymore because it is so overused and has such contempt with it. I use the word agape because it means more than love to me. It means what I feel and say.

So who has deceived us? More on that tomorrow.

That’s what I think about it.

DTW – http://www.exaltationchurch.comeclogo12

Wife or Mother, Husband or Son? Your Mates’ Confusion

question_mark_redHave you ever heard about or read the story about a character by the name of Oedipus? He was a young man who killed his father and married his mother as told in Greek mythology.

Sounds preposterous, doesn’t it? Well, don’t be too anxious to come to that conclusion.

You see–there are many men and women in western society, which includes being a part of the church, where these roles are confused, and the lines are blurred. There are men who have married a wife that slowly morphed into the role of his mother. Just the same, there are women who have married a husband, who too has slowly confused that role and manifested characteristics of being her son. Both are recipes for disaster.

Men who have expected to have wives as equal partners in marriage only come to later regret that because they feel they are mothered. The wife here unknowingly treats her husband as if he were her son.

What is so unfortunate about this situation is that the husbands find themselves feeling guilty that their wife/mother will not approve of them and they find themselves having to get permission before acting in freedom. Many of these marriages end in frustrated divorce.

Women who expected to have husbands as equals only find themselves having one more child than their natural responsibility had given them, and that would be their husband. He becomes so dependent and immature that she has to “raise” him and nurture him to the point of unnatural attention and affection. In fact, many in this scenario find the husbands actually calling their wives “mother.”

The Bible intended for our marriage roles to be firmly entrenched by actions where there are no mistaking responsibility characteristics.

A husband is to be a man taking joint authority of the home with his wife, not his mother, and treat her with such respect.

A wife is to share the authority of her home with her husband, not her son, and treat him as his position was intended.

The husband has to understand the difference between self initiated courtesy and asking for permission. The wife must comprehend that she is not the judge and jury of her husband but his support, confidant and comrade. Understanding these roles will make a marriage stronger-not weaker.

Husbands, be the man you ought to be and that is “mature and responsible.” Wives, be the woman you are meant to be and that is “loving and caring.”

This can only happen when both partners assume their God given roles. It will not work if one or the other fails at their responsibility. I am sorry if it might be that way for you.

That’s what I think about it.

DTW – http://www.exaltationchurch.com

Fireproof or Foolhardy?

fighting-couple1It is amazing to me, how some people are so devoted to a piece of paper more so than each other.

I mean there are people in this world who live together in a legitimate marriage union who absolutely cannot get along with one another and have no common bonds, much less love each other. These people have long been psychologically divorced for years and because of their obligation to a “church” and its position on divorce, they feel they have no other alternative than to live together.

Everyday for them is a day in hell when they are together.

Now I realize that there are some who have resigned themselves to the fact that they might as well make the best of it and live together amicably. They both understand that it is better to get along rather than fight all the time. I mean it’s not just in the pews of our churches but it’s in the pulpit as well. There are pastors who boast of marriages of 30 or more years and they say it with arrogance. However, the truth is that there are some of these marriages that have not been enjoyed for the sake of the couple, but have been endured for the sake of the church. Sad, isn’t it?

I don’t believe for one moment that this is the kind of marriage that God intended for mankind. You cannot convince me, that because of our wrong choices in mate choosing, that it is our lot in life to live with our mistake for the rest of our lives.

Now, let me be clear, marriage is not to be a trial and error arrangement. Multiple marriage victims need to research why they keep choosing the wrong mate. My heart goes out to those who, time after time, fail to find pleasure and happiness with a mate that they thought would be the “right one.”

I give credit to the movie “Fireproof” for the good it is struggling to do in keeping couples together in marriage. However, we as the church created the problem and now we’re trying to get these unhappy couples to “keep it together” to help the church save face. According to Barna research, born again Evangelicals have the same divorce rate as non-Christians. Let’s face it, we’re not getting the job done in teaching proper relationships in marriage.

What is the solution?

We have to begin teaching the proper manner to children to search for a mate at an early age. The church has got to develop better classes for parents to teach their children about life long commitments and how to choose them wisely with God’s help. Schools have got to do a better job in teaching what real relationships mean. Sex education has become the cure all to end all problems in the school system, but that’s only part of the problem.

We’ve got to get to the root and quit dealing with the fruit.

We need better schools that teach values and ideas that are meant for all people; not just Christian schools that isolate and build walls between the good and the bad.

We’ve got to do better than fireproof our marriages; we’ve got to teach how to not marry an arsonist.

That’s what I think about it.

DTW – http://www.exaltationchurch.com

Feeling Trapped????

feeling-trappedMany people whether Christian or otherwise, exist in a way of life they feel trapped in. It doesn’t matter whether it’s real or imagined; it is still a feeling of being trapped.

Their personal perception is stronger than reality.

So, how do you handle such a predicament?

Did you suddenly end up here or has it been gradual, over a period of time?

You see, it still doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is, you’re feeling trapped and you don’t know what to do about.

You’ve talked to everybody that you know you can trust. You’ve done your research on the internet. You’ve lain awake at nights pondering the options. You’ve wondered how all this could have happened to you.

It doesn’t matter in what area you are feeling trapped in; it’s all the same.

Whether it’s your health, your marriage, your finances, your job, a relationship, no matter what it is, it has you bewildered, frustrated and depressed.

You keep asking yourself two questions; why me and how can I get out of this?

First of all you have to keep in mind two things truth and honesty.

There is a truth to your situation. You have to seek truth to discover the foundational reason for what you’re in.

Secondly, you have to remember to be honest with yourself and anyone else who is involved with you in your dilemma. This is not only therapeutic for you; it shows everyone else that you are authentic in your wanting to fix things.

Lying will only deceive yourself and cause others not to trust you or believe in you.

When you are honest with yourself and others then you will begin to see progress in breaking free from your bondage. This is the beginning of happiness for you and joy for others.

When you begin to seek the truth you will find why you were in this situation and how not to ever end up here ever again.

Jesus was so right on when he said the truth will set you free. You don’t have to be trapped. You don’t have to feel like someone has a pillow on top of your head and you’re smothering.

Admit to yourself and others your predicament and He will help you find your path to freedom. When you lean on the Lord Jesus Christ and quit relying on you, you’ll find your life to be much easier and definitely happy.

Or then again, you could ignore all the above and wait for the guys in the white coats.

It’s your choice.

That’s what I think about it.

DTW – http://www.exaltationchurch.com

The Joys Of Husband-Hood

rocky-fullWhen May 18 rolls around this year, I will have been married 35 years. I think that’s pretty, pretty good.

I started thinking, it’s been rewarding and challenging.  However the rewards far out weigh the challenges.

But hey, I think Debra would agree that I’ve been and still am a good husband.  (If I don’t toot my own horn, nobody else will. 🙂)

I’ve been at the births of both of my children.

I’ve been at  Debra’s side for every operation she’s had.

I’ve helped her with the house, being motivated by maturity and ownership. Yeah, I’m an adult I can clean and it’s MY house too.

Am I hen pecked?  Of course not.  I’ve just be taught from childhood that if something needs to be done and I can do it then I should.  I’m glad my parents taught me that.  Going to seminary where we had to keep our rooms clean had it’s part as well.

Yeah, I wash, dry, fold and put away clothes.  I vacuum the carpets.  I mop and wax floors.  I cook and have dinner ready when I can.  I’m fully aware of all the domestic things that need to be done and I help a lot in this area.  Not bad.

I spend as much time with Debra as I can.  She’s is a partner to me in the ministry.  I realize the importance of character and reputation of marriage and I have remained faithful and loyal in that and many other areas.  I still court my wife after all these years; it’s very important.

I call my in-laws and tell them I love them and treat them with respect.  Since my parents have passed on, I treat my in-laws as my own parents.

I still try to make sure that we enjoy life and have fun; all the time.  She makes it easy.

Yes, there are joys of husband-hood.  I know there are a lot more men like me who enjoy the art and craft of being a good husband.  I high five all you guys who understand what I’m talking about.

Being a good husband is not a joking matter; it is a responsibility.

That’s what I think about it.


Busyness Can Ruin Your Reputation

busy1I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back to you sooner. I’ve been so busy.

I’m sorry I haven’t made that payment. I’ve been so busy.

Honey, I’m sorry we haven’t had time for one another. You know how busy I’ve been.

Son, dad can’t do it this weekend, he’s got a very busy schedule.

Who has time for church? That’s my only day to sleep in. I’m a busy person.

Yeah, we’ll have lunch. I’ll call you when I get the chance. I’ve been so busy.

Well, we both know how busy the pastor has been lately. We can forgive him for that lousy sermon.

Divorce? What do you mean, “I’ve been so busy that I haven’t spent time with you?”

I’ll do that one day. I’ve been as busy as a one arm paper hanger on a windy day.

Yeah, mom, we’ll bring the kids and see you when I get the chance. We’ve been so busy at church and stuff.

Yes, I have been seeing her. And you want to know why? Because that career of yours, you’ve not spent one evening with me. You keep telling me how busy you are.

I know you’ve been working long hours. I know you have to have both of those jobs, but can’t you slow down? You’re all the time busy.

If I would have taken time to look at that stupid bank account, I wouldn’t have been overdrawn. I’ve got to slow down. I’m too busy.

I know I should have emailed you earlier. But you just don’t know how many emails a day I get. Forgive me for being too busy.

I’m sorry….

Forgive me…

Excuse me, but…

I know, but you’ve got to understand how busy I am.

These are the expressions of someone whose reputation is either dying or dead.

That’s what I think about it.

DTW – http://www.exaltationchurch.com